I had a really sucky day at work.

My brother went for day surgery for his eyes today. Somehow, don't ask me how and neither can the doctors explain it in one so young, he has catarat in one of his eyes. It cannot be cured by medication, only surgery. My mom is also having a minor surgery tomorrow, for a problem which was detected during her health screening last week. They are going to different hospitals, bro going to Mt Elizabeth Hospital and mom going to Alexandra Hospital. Since my dad has to send my mom to AH in the morning, they requested me to take leave to send my bro for his follow-up at Mt E. Seeing that I had taken leave for next week to study and for exams, I was really dreading asking for another day. I decided on a barter, give up 1 day next week in exchange for tomorrow. That was fine with Boss.

Su gave me some advice on how to protect my reputation in front of the bosses but the more we discussed, the worse I feel. My motto has always been to be up-front and honest about what I do. I don't backstab people and I expect the same from others. However, that's not the way it works in the corporate world. It's appearances that count. As long as you stay later than Boss, you are hardworking. Doesn't matter if you are surfing the soccer sites and placing bets. Just as long as you appear to be deep in thought when Boss comes out of her room.

Boss is another kind. She likes to appear to be the "good guy". Even if she's not happy, she will pretend to be all fine with it and then get somebody else to do her dirty work for her. So, you can never know if what she says is what she means. Bullshit about "open communication"! Why, she even admitted herself in a conversation the other day. It doesn't matter if you are not so sure you are right, as long as you insist to the other party you are and argue your way through. Btw, she's always bad-mouthing our Big Boss from Malaysia in front of us.

It makes me feel terrible that even I am thinking along their lines of thought. I had wanted to get a haircut after work today because my hairends are in really bad condition and I haven't had a haircut for half a year. However, because I'm taking leave tomorrow, I decided against the haircut. In case they gossip about me taking time to beautify myself when I was supposedly looking after my bro.

Sometimes, it seems like a perfectly ok place to continue working in. Occasionally, I feel like having the satisfaction of throwing in my resignation letter, not that I would be so irrational. Or maybe because I'm always mildy depressive when it's a red-letter day.

# posted by Shopaholic : 9:50 PM